Bob and Fred, Just 2 Girls at Hogwarts
by Freaky-Hobbit 14
Summary: ok we got the Dream Team, Aragorn, Legolas, and of course, 2 girls who have no idea how the hell they go to Hogwarts. Should be very interesting


Hello, my friend! Welcome to Hogwarts.complete with The Dream Team, Legolas and Aragorn..and of course 2 girls who have no idea how the hell they got to Hogwarts!  
  
Disclaimer: sorry, but I don't own anything *sniff* I wanted Snape.but JK Rowling just couldn't part with him.I wonder why... *wink*  
  
All was well in the warm atmosphere of Hogwarts. Students were in class.Professors were near clawing their eyes out at the stupidity of the students.and 2 girls fell through the sky and landed in the Entrance Hall. Wait a fucking minute..REWIND!!!! .and 2 girls fell through the sky and landed in the Entrance Hall. Wait a fucking.OK, OK I get it! Well, obviously 2 girls do NOT often fall through the sky, so maybe all WASN'T well.  
  
"Dum dum dee dee" sang Legolas, skipping down the Grand Staircase (what's so grand about it, I'll never know) "Holy fucking wood nymphs!!! GIRLS!!! AHHHHH" screamed Legolas (I'm making him girlophobic. Like that's even a word..Legolas has never seen a GIRL before. So, obviously, seeing a person with humps sticking out of their chest is a little weird to him. Anyhoo..back to the story).  
  
Legolas ran up the staircase like a little pansy (you know.he's holding the sides of this shirt like thing and jump/skipping..yeah) while the 2 girls laying on the floor unconscious finally came-to.  
  
"What the fucking." said a very, VERY dazed Bob. (Yes, yes I KNOW she's a girl. I just felt like giving her a special name!)  
  
"Bob? What's..going...on..HELL! What am I doing on top of you?" screamed a morbid Fred. (NOT Weasley. Just making it clear. Sorry to slow you down)  
  
Fred shot up off the floor and Bob struggled to get off her fat ass. (too many twinkies)  
  
"Whoa! BLOODY HELL! What are we doing at.Hogwarts?" yelled Bob in a very "Ron Weasley" sort of voice.  
  
"Bob, please stop yelling like fucking Ron OK? YOU ARE NOT BRITISH!" screamed a still slightly morbid Fred.  
  
"Oh picky, picky. If I remember correctly, last night while we were watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, you had 5 orgasms every time Ron showed up!" said Bob  
  
"Hey.that wasn't." but Fred was cut off. Along came.who else?...Ron Weasley.  
"Uh.what house are you in?" asked Ron. (Apparently he has never been in the presence of 2 gorgeous women, Bob a blonde, and Fred a brunette, so the only thing that pops in to his bite size brain is.What house you in. God, Ron PULL IT TOGETHER!)  
  
Before Bob can answer though, Fred jumps Ron on the stairs. While they are frantically making out, Bob decides being a voyeur isn't exactly what she had in mind for the day, so she begins wandering around trying to find Dumbledore's office.or Snape.whichever one she finds first *wink*.  
  
But it just so happens that Hermione is coming out of the Library at the exact moment Bob walks down the corridor.  
  
"Hello! I don't think we've met before. Are you new here?" asked Hermione politely. (God she makes me sick)  
  
"No. I'm looking for Dumbledore's office," said a peeved Bob. (she doesn't really like Hermione.)  
  
"3rd floor," said Hermione with her toothy grin  
  
"Yeah.thanks. Say.you wouldn't happen to know where.uh.Professor Snape's private rooms are.do you?" asked Bob in a very *ahem* suggestive sort of voice.  
  
"Oh yeah! It's in the dungeons. Go down the stairs and turn to the hidden door on the left and in the shadows," replied Hermione in a little too anxious sort of voice.  
  
"OK I do NOT want to know how u knew that," said Bob as she made her way to the dungeons. Dumbledore can wait.  
  
****Meanwhile.back to the fucking pansy, Legolas****  
  
"I swear it, Dumbledore! Humans! Girls! With the tits and everything! I didn't think they really existed.but wow!" exclaimed an out- of-breath Legolas.  
  
"Thank you, Legolas.and please, no more jumping through walls. I'm getting tired of seeing elf-prints everywhere," said an exasperated Dumbledore.  
  
"Aye, Aye SIR!" saluted Legolas.  
  
As Legolas left, Dumbledore finally had his peace.with.candy? Who would have thought.Dumbledore and candy!  
  
"Mmm.Lemon Drops."  
  
****Meanwhile.back to Fred and Ron****  
"What the hell? Geroff me, you slut!" shouted Ron. (though I think he enjoyed the make-out session since they were doing it for 15 minutes.)  
  
"But, Ron! Can't you see I love you?" whispered Fred.  
  
"HARRY!! GOD HARRY HELP ME!" screamed Ron.  
  
POOF! In a cloud of smoke Harry appeared beside Ron, pulling Fred off his dick. Harry, being the fucking wonder-boy he is, helps Ron up off the floor and calmly talks to Fred.  
  
"So.who are you now?" asked a very confused Harry since usually he doesn't see Ron with a girl on top of him.  
  
"I'm Fred. Yes, I am a girl thank you! My friend Bob and I fell from the sky onto the Entrance Hall.and I don't know where she went.probably shagging Snape no doubt." Explained Fred matter-of-factly.  
  
"Yes.well.that's all very interesting, but why exactly were you on top of Ron here?" asked Harry  
  
"Uh...teenage hormones?"  
  
"Fair enough."  
  
"OK," said Ron. "So.you fell through the sky. Right. Wait.what did u say about Bob?"  
  
"I said, she's probably shagging Snape. Knowing her, she's found her way to his private rooms." replied Fred  
  
"Oh shit." said Harry. " I guess she doesn't know about Hermione then"  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"Well, Snape and her are kind of.an "item" so to speak," replied Ron.  
  
"Then most likely she's found her way past Hermione.we better get her before she makes any sudden movements in his.or her direction," Fred said. (haha I rhymed) 


End file.
